Therapy for sexual identity concerns

Have you ever asked yourself, who am I attracted to and why? You think back to your childhood and all the gay jokes you heard that everyone laughed at but they made you uncomfortable inside. Your family went to church every Sunday and talked about how those “other” people were living in sin and how they would go to hell. Your family’s beliefs are so deeply ingrained in you and when you start to question your sexuality you feel this deep sense of guilt and betrayal because “you were raised better.” 

Your religion tells you that if you are LGBT+ you are an abomination and your family should disown you, which comes with so much fear and anxiety you just don’t know what to do anymore. You’ve tried sleeping with the opposite sex and you just feel bad as there is no spark or interest or you were totally turned off and disgusted. You had a best friend (who is the same sex) and you were always touching each other as a joke, snuggling watching movies, holding hands, and even kissing each other. But you thought it’s just my best friend no big deal, but realize later on that the feeling in your stomach, that rush you got was more than just friendship, it was a crush. 

You try to deny your attraction to a person of the same sex when you’ve been told your whole life, that marriage is between a man and woman. The societal and family pressure to conform is taking its toll on your mental health. You’ve suppressed your thoughts and feelings for so long in an effort to fit the “norm.” You feel so alone like no one will understand or if you actually talk about your sexual identity that you will be condemned or ostracized from friends and family. You want to be able to explore your thoughts and feelings without judgement as you’re already judging yourself so harshly. 

That’s where I come in.

I know about the challenges of being queer/gay– because I am.

I can support you in putting the foundations in place so that you can start to accept your own sexual identity. If interested in gender identity, please click here for more information.
 

During our work together, we’ll explore how your identity and sense of self are shifting and evolving as you explore your sexuality. 

As we do this, you’ll start to feel more comfortable doing two things at the same time:

1. Give yourself permission to keep the parts you like about yourself and want to maintain (being kind to others, genuinely caring, having a sense of purpose and justice)
2. Be flexible in adding in some sexual exploration and lifestyle changes (like finding a community to be open with, attending pride events, and researching how others have gone through this process on Reddit). 

This permission and flexibility will start to create natural changes to your life: you will start to feel more at home in your own body and around others. 

In therapy with me we can explore things such as:

• Your attraction to others or lack of attraction to anyone. 
• How to not hate yourself, when you figure out your sexual identity. 
• How to process your feelings and thoughts about your experiences with intimacy and sexual behaviors. 
• How society, family, and your own beliefs can hinder exploration of your sexual identity. 
• How suppressed emotions have affected your relationships and your mental health. 
• How to accept all parts of yourself and be able to explore your wants and needs emotionally, romantically, and sexually. 
• The coming out process (if you so choose), and safe ways to address your sexual identity with those in your life. 

As your therapist, I will help you explore your sexual identity in a way that honors both your past experiences and beliefs and where you are now.

Contact me to schedule your first session

In its broadest sense, the term ‘sexuality’ describes the whole way a person expresses themselves as a sexual being. Sexual orientation is about who you are attracted to emotionally, romantically, and sexually. 

Sexuality may be experienced and expressed in a variety of ways; including thoughts, fantasies, desires, beliefs, attitudes, values, behaviors, practices, roles, and relationships. 

Some Terms related to Sexuality: 

• Aromantic – refers to a person who does not experience romantic attraction, or who experiences it weakly or rarely. 
• Asexual (or ace) – refers to a person who does not experience sexual attraction, or who experiences it weakly or rarely. 
• Biromantic – refers to a person who is romantically attracted to more than one gender of people. 
• Bisexual – refers to a person who is sexually attracted to more than one gender of people. 
• Coming out – when a person discloses their sexual or romantic orientation, or trans identity, to another person (e.g. as lesbian, gay, bi or trans). 
• Gay – refers to a person who is sexually and/or romantically attracted to people of the same/similar gender. 
• Heteroromantic – refers to a person who is romantically attracted to people of a different gender. 
• Heterosexual or Straight - refers to a person who is sexually attracted to people of a different gender. 
• Homoromantic – refers to a person who is romantically attracted to people of the same/similar gender. 
• Homosexual – this might be considered a more medical or old-fashioned version of the term ‘gay’, used to refer to a person who is sexually attracted to someone of the same/similar gender. 
• Lesbian – refers to a woman who sexually and/or romantically attracted to other women. 
• LGBTQ IA2S+– the acronym for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender/gender expansive,  queer and/or questioning, intersex, asexual, two-spirited individuals. The plus is for others in the community not defined by the letters yet.
• Outed – when a person’s sexual or romantic orientation or gender identity is disclosed to someone else without their consent. 
• Panromantic – refers to a person who is romantically attracted to people of all genders, or regardless of gender. 
• Pansexual - refers to a person who is sexually attracted to people of all genders, or regardless of gender. 
• Queer – in the past a derogatory term for LGBT individuals, the term has now been reclaimed by some people who don’t identify with traditional categories around gender identity and sexual orientation (though be aware that it is still felt to be a slur by some). 
• Questioning – the process of exploring your own sexual and/or romantic orientation, and/or gender identity. 
• Romantic orientation - describes any preference a person may have towards the gender(s) of romantic partner they choose. 
• Sexual orientation – describes any preference a person may have towards the gender(s) of sexual partner they choose. 
• Trans – a trans person is someone who identifies as a gender different to that which they were assigned at birth (if you are interested in therapy for gender identity click here). 

• That sexuality is a choice or is taught.
• That being gay, bi, queer, or trans is genetic. 
• That sexuality is static.
• That you can tell someone's sexuality just by looking at them.
• That your sexual orientation is defined by who you're with. 
• That sexuality is black and white ie: heterosexual vs homosexual.
• Everyone's experiences are the same when it comes to their sexuality.
• Parents cause their children to become gay, lesbian, or bisexual.

• Sexual identity is fluid and on a spectrum throughout your lifetime.
• Every person is different, and every type of sexual orientation is normal and deserves respect. 
• Cultural and societal factors influence sexual practices and behaviors. 
• Societal expectations regarding masculinity and femininity can influence sexual behaviors, power dynamics within relationships, and access to healthcare services. 
• LGBTQ+ individuals may face discrimination from healthcare providers or encounter challenges in finding culturally competent care due to stereotypes, prejudice, discriminatory practices, and stigmatizing behavior.